Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Breaking away from Exhibitionism: Facebook

By: Michael Lenoch

Such has our world as of late been consumed by the social time-sink, or Facebook. To my outspoken dismay, this is to the detriment of modern teenagers.

Never has there been a website that nurtured the average teenager's ability to glaze over the website's own text. You're with it if your Status is short. You're not if it's long, or if you gave it any thought at all. You're with it if you quoted a recent popculture reference verbatim. You're not if you come up with a clever aphorism of your own that provokes some thinking.

Facebook, otherwise known as the electronic organization of brainless commentary and social interaction, is a vomit-provoking site to say the least. Meaningless clubs that supposedly pair Facebook members with similar interests, coupled with endless and unremarkable messages and Statuses are certain to leave one with the thought: "Why did I ever decide to join Facebook in the first place?"

To quote Andy Ostroy from the Huffington Post;

"What started out as a social networking site for college kids has somehow turned into a cesspool of self-absorbed way-too-old-to-be-fucking-around-on-Facebook adults who think that the rest of us actually give a shit about what they're drinking, eating, thinking, reading, watching, and/or are listening to every five minutes. They post their top 5 records, movies and TV shows. They post "25 Random Things About Me" lists. And they tell us constantly what they're "fans of." One person is a fan of "grilled cheese." I kid you not. What have we come to when grilled cheese has its own Facebook page? Someone clearly has way too much time on their hands."

To think people who attend my school know various people purely from his or her Facebook profile is a social nightmare come true. The site is inundated with depraved teenagers who use Facebook as a way to "express" him or herself. That's not expression, that's beating someone over the head with all of your interests and activities at any given moment that no one cares to the slightest degree.

"The site is overcrowded with attention-starved [teenagers] essentially screaming "look at me... look at me!" all day long. They change their profile photos as often as I change my underwear, and they've somehow convinced themselves that their lives are infinitely interesting all the time. The "audience factor" is just way too attractive to these folks. It's drunken karaoke without the booze and the bad singing, but with all the requisite self-indulgence."

In what instance will I ever in my lifetime find any of this information useful whatsoever -- senseless musings of obviously confused teens, the regurgitation of music lyrics, and the stereotypical ignorance teenagers have been so apt to promote and reinforce.

But in the spirit of a carefully orchestrated crescendo, I must confess how I initially became a Facebook member. By my Sophomore year, I transferred to a new school. Prior to that time, I wisely neglected becoming a Facebook member, thinking, "It's simply not for me." But when I did in fact, break down and submit to the ubiquitous Facebook regime, there was nothing particularly remarkable, even from the outset. Sure it was helpful to get to know people before I stepped foot in my new school, but Facebook is a depressing waste of time that blares in your face how little people care about you no matter how little, or considered your contributions are, especially relative to your fellow self-absorbed peers.


Ostroy, Andy. "I Hate Facebook." The Huffington Post. 25 Mar. 2009. Web. 2 Sept. 2009. .


Anonymous said...

like most things in life, there's a lot of waste in facebook -- but there's also a legitimate usage for it. The arguments that you present for why facebook blows are the same presented for why Twitter is a waste. Yes, they can be if the person using them is a dumbass, but they can also be incredibly useful if that isn't the case. There's a reason it started as a networking site for college students, they don't see each other everyday, and often times its easier to keep in touch through wall posts etc. then through carefully calculated phone calls that need to fit into the other persons schedule of classes, sports, and when they go out.

I agree, 90% of what is posted on my news feed is garbage. But that doesn't mean that facebook isn't useful, and that the site itself is a flaming pile of shit.

Attention to Detail said...

Yes, I'd like to know exactly when Facebook was "useful" to you Patrick.

Anonymous said...

Nice guess on the name. But not really.

I don't see friends from high school daily anymore. Instead I see them a couple times a year instead. This is because for all intents and purposes, my friends and I don't live in the same city anymore. Can you deduce why this is? I'm a college student. Therefore I already explained how its useful to me.