Breaking away from Exhibitionism: Facebook

By: Michael Lenoch

Such has our world as of late been consumed by the social time-sink, or Facebook. To my outspoken dismay, this is to the detriment of modern teenagers.

Never has there been a website that nurtured the average teenager's ability to glaze over the website's own text. You're with it if your Status is short. You're not if it's long, or if you gave it any thought at all. You're with it if you quoted a recent popculture reference verbatim. You're not if you come up with a clever aphorism of your own that provokes some thinking.

Facebook, otherwise known as the electronic organization of brainless commentary and social interaction, is a vomit-provoking site to say the least. Meaningless clubs that supposedly pair Facebook members with similar interests, coupled with endless and unremarkable messages and Statuses are certain to leave one with the thought: "Why did I ever decide to join Facebook in the first place?"

To quote Andy Ostroy from the Huffington Post;

"What started out as a social networking site for college kids has somehow turned into a cesspool of self-absorbed way-too-old-to-be-fucking-around-on-Facebook adults who think that the rest of us actually give a shit about what they're drinking, eating, thinking, reading, watching, and/or are listening to every five minutes. They post their top 5 records, movies and TV shows. They post "25 Random Things About Me" lists. And they tell us constantly what they're "fans of." One person is a fan of "grilled cheese." I kid you not. What have we come to when grilled cheese has its own Facebook page? Someone clearly has way too much time on their hands."

To think people who attend my school know various people purely from his or her Facebook profile is a social nightmare come true. The site is inundated with depraved teenagers who use Facebook as a way to "express" him or herself. That's not expression, that's beating someone over the head with all of your interests and activities at any given moment that no one cares to the slightest degree.

"The site is overcrowded with attention-starved [teenagers] essentially screaming "look at me... look at me!" all day long. They change their profile photos as often as I change my underwear, and they've somehow convinced themselves that their lives are infinitely interesting all the time. The "audience factor" is just way too attractive to these folks. It's drunken karaoke without the booze and the bad singing, but with all the requisite self-indulgence."

In what instance will I ever in my lifetime find any of this information useful whatsoever -- senseless musings of obviously confused teens, the regurgitation of music lyrics, and the stereotypical ignorance teenagers have been so apt to promote and reinforce.

But in the spirit of a carefully orchestrated crescendo, I must confess how I initially became a Facebook member. By my Sophomore year, I transferred to a new school. Prior to that time, I wisely neglected becoming a Facebook member, thinking, "It's simply not for me." But when I did in fact, break down and submit to the ubiquitous Facebook regime, there was nothing particularly remarkable, even from the outset. Sure it was helpful to get to know people before I stepped foot in my new school, but Facebook is a depressing waste of time that blares in your face how little people care about you no matter how little, or considered your contributions are, especially relative to your fellow self-absorbed peers.



SOURCE:

Ostroy, Andy. "I Hate Facebook." The Huffington Post. 25 Mar. 2009. Web. 2 Sept. 2009. .

I hate the routine

By: Michael Lenoch

I hate the routine
I hate the routine, the forced lifestyle that all of us must endure,
I hate the routine that has provoked the dark suicidal thoughts in us all,
I hate the routine that makes me grateful for any free time I may have,
I hate the routine that makes me keep track of time,
I hate the routine that forces me to write in order to cope,
I hate the routine that requires no creativity, as those who have mastered the routine, yet are clearly less intelligible than myself succeed,
I hate the routine that surges stress in us all daily,
I hate the routine that mercilessly knocks the inkling of personality we each resembled, prior to our embracing the routine,
I hate the routine that supposedly, will one day make formidable professionals of us all,
I hate the routine that limits our time we spend with our families,
I hate the routine that mandates me to sit in a classroom full of students all day who consider themselves brilliant purely because they happened to fill in answer C, rather than answer A,
I hate the routine that consists of a blaring alarm clock, and a gloomy morning,
I hate the routine that was employed by adults who assume ubiquitous stupidity of teenagers,
I hate the routine that restricts my full potential in activities I consider worthwhile and a possible profession, such as writing,
I hate the routine that has me witness innumerable faces that appear sleepy and lifeless,
I hate the routine that situates me with individuals who dismiss me entirely,
I hate the routine that consists of a large amount of teenagers who have no desire to learn and to succeed,
I hate the routine in which I witness individuals who assume their wit based on the name of the school they attend,
I hate the routine in which so much more could be done other than the undeniably objective, mind-numbing homework we are assigned each night,
I hate the routine in which I must endure a senseless beating of the French language a year behind, when I could be enjoying the brilliant sounds of the German language, a year ahead,
I hate the routine that has me sitting in a stifling library on the fourth floor, contemplating every drawback, and hoping for the most of every hardship,
I hate the routine in which I must suffer criticism, misunderstandings, as well as ignorance,

But I do in fact love the routine in which I can sit down, satisfied, knowing I either contributed to the English language in one form or another, or have at the very least, provoked some sort of questioning.

My Aspiration to Live in Germany

It is senseless,
It is bound in pride,
It is nigh inexplainable,
It harkens to a lack of identity in the land of the stars and stripes,
It makes me question my allegiance to the red, white, and blue,
It shocks me how generic the texts of the land represented by a bald eagle truly are,
It gives me a sense of longing,
A sense of parting from my ancestry, a loss of my heitage and my roots in history,
A yearning desire that envisions myself speaking a language proudly that was spoken by my great fathers long ago,
A culture that is more united than these supposed united states,
A culture that doesn't beat itself up about sports feuds, messy divorces, and petty arguments, debating the implications behind the First Amendment,
But rather, a relaxed lot, who understand the core values of life, and are not driving everywhere by car and chopping every tree in sight to achieve them.

John Davison, the sensationalist

(As a preface, John Davison, former 1up/EGM employee, runs a site called WhatTheyPlay.com, and is a popular guest on my personal favorite podcast, Listen Up!.)

Lately because I've been listening to multiple podcasts; Gamespot UK podcast, Listen Up!, Giant Bomb, and (World Soccer Daily, although that's irrelevant), I've had a spectrum of opinions throughout the various shows, and have noticed how much of a sensationalist John is. He makes out every game that he spent 5 minutes playing and didn't frustrate him to be the next game of the year. He commonly uses words like "Awesome", "Excellent", "Spectacular", and "Great", which can get a bit confusing. First of all, for the most part, all of the words I mentioned have identical connotations, and when used, can be perceived to pertain to the same standard or quality. I feel John needs to be more careful when speaking about games, because from first-hand experience, I've bought some iPhone games that I've been greatly disappointed with because of how "Good" he describes every game he mentions. John needs to use subtlety to his advantage. He clearly must have no idea what kind of influence he has on gamers -- because if Uncle John says it's good, it's nearly guaranteed the boards will be either up in arms in regret, or in love with John's weekly recommendation by the following week.

I might be taking a bit of a diversion here, but I think John would be better suited talking about books on a podcast. Books educate. Books have never done anything wrong. Books are worth reading even if the subject is not particularly interesting because you are bound to learn something new. And most importantly, books have never wasted anyone's time. John's approach to talking about games is very fey or whimsical. Don't misinterpret this though; what I mean by "fey or whimsical" is that John rarely has had the misfortune of having to take a chance on a game that he has been told was good -- he always has the opportunity to try a game before commiting a purchase by the very nature of his job. John certainly has expressed instances in which he has been burned by buying a game, but he seems less critical if "he spent 5 minutes or more playing a game and it didn't frustrate him". So in some cases, it appears as though he forgot what it means to be a gamer -- and indeed is going on by assumptions.

All in all, John needs to be more careful with his words, not use words like" Spectacular" for every game he talks about, truly get down to what makes a game fun -- not what it is about -- which is inevitably what the show gets caught up in on nearly every show. It's not always worth the time to know what the game is about, but rather whether it is worth my time.

Area 5 is sorely lacking

I can remember the 1up Show, and how interesting and solid each discussion featured on the show was. After watching this week's Area 5 show, I'm afraid to say that Area 5 is sorely lacking. In contrast to the 1up Show, when Ryan, Jason, Cesar, Jay, and Matt were filming some of the most articulate writers the video game industry has seen, the show was highly entertaining. The idea of inviting other video game writers is a plus, but on this week's show, I could barely understand what Cesar was trying to convey during the Call of Juarez discussion . Maybe I am a fool, or maybe Cesar needs to work on his communication skills or build his vocabulary. When he was trying to say how he felt about Call of Juarez as a whole, he kept rephrasing what he said a few seconds ago. Cesar alone is not to blame. Let's be honest, there's a reason the Area 5 guys aren't invited to podcasts. They are spectacular video producers, and I commend them for that, but they are not the most articulate game critics. They certainly do a great job explaining their personal experiences, but can barely make a solid critique about a game, which is why they made such an appropriate fit making the 1up Show with the verbally articulate 1up guys. I can understand how stressful it can be improvising these discussions (whether they are or are not), but as an honest consumer, I felt like no one on the Call of Juarez discussion clearly indicated whether it was something I should look into or not. Maybe I'm harping too much on the Call of Juarez discussion alone, but relative to Area 5's quality work in the past, this simply didn't seem to fit.

No offense Area 5 guys, just some constructive criticism

Battlefield Heroes Impressions

In Battlefield Heroes, the highly popular ranking and experience system is back in full glory, right? Wrong, personally, I feel in Battlefield Heroes, the ranking system is absued. By the end of each 5-10 minute round or so, you'll see that you've racked up nearly 1000 points that will be added to your character. This feels good, sure, but when you see literally billions of points popping up before your character, they begin to become meaningless. Added the fact that there are few weapons to choose from, you'll ifnd yourself wondering what to spend your points on. One of the only factors that distinguishes Battlefield Heroes from any run-of-the-mill modern shooter is your abilities and clothing options, which may interest you Barbie fans out there. But as for me, and any other man out there, I honestly don't care what my character looks like.



But surely this game wasn't intended for me, a hardcore Battlefield 2/Call of Duty 4 player, right? Yes, in fact for players new to shooters, or online games in general, this game is great. I watched attentively as my babysitter's son, who is about 9, play Battlefield Heroes -- he enjoyed it, partly because of how greatly the game gratifies you as you earn points, as well as how forgiving the game is. Also, the requirement for speedy reflexes is not quite necessary, which for me at least, is something that made my experience with the game less as enjoyable. And because the game is accessible, free, and encouraging, you're going to be finding yourself in many games with a hefty amount of exploiting jerks.



Aside from all the details, the core gameplay, for me, fails to impress. The shooting mechanic could have been done more effectively in a number of ways. Shooting in Battlefield Heroes feels uneffective, and that's due to the fact that DICE wanted people to come back for more each day -- after all, dying with a few rounds to the head in a game like Counter Strike is not the most encouraging, fun, or even gratifying way to draw in a fanbase. It's apparent that everything from the health system, the UI, the HUD, the few classes, the inability to choose spawn points, the fact that this game takes place in 3rd person, the inability to go prone, the amount of rounds it requires to take down someone, and the very few weapons to choose from, that this game was made for the utmost unskilled, inexperienced, and brutally unsavy gamers, children, or people to enjoy and play, and have that ideal 'Battlefield Experience' that was lusted after by people outside the Battlefield 1942 community.



All in all, I'm araid to say Battlefield Heroes is not my favorite Battlefield.

Modern Warfare 2 Gameplay at E3 in Words

Lately, I have been doing everything but writing, and it is apparent how desperate in need of stimulating that skill I am. So to stimulate my writing skill, (and because I'm out of ideas for writing prompts now) I think I should as accurately as possible describe the Modern Warfare 2 gameplay that was featured at E3. Here it goes.



You witness your resilient companion, Soap McTavish smoke a cigar to the frigid scenery surrounding you. Your path ahead is uncertain, but you know you must carry on. Your confidence is still strong, as you can hear the beat to your heart. Speedy aircraft soar overhead with tremendous velocity. They appear to be MiG-29s. Soap commands you to get up from your break as he tosses his warm cigar down the ice-patched cliff. You clench near to the cliff wall to hold on for dear life while you look down the deadly descent that looms before you, inciting paranoia in your every muscle. You look to the side where Soap is facing the very same fear you are for comfort. You eye Soap's dangling rifle, knowing that that is what will potentially save both your and his life. Soap orders you to cover him, as he scales the ice cliff with every remaining ounce of strength he remarkably still has. He draws his ice picks, and brings himself up with incredible effort. By the time he nearly reaches the top, he assumes all is well, and there is nothing to fear. He has you follow him with little precaution. You climb the arctic wall with equal strength demonstrated by Soap, watching each cracking section of ice permitting your ascension. Two more unknown aircraft pass by, as Soap is blown, he grips for his life with one hand. He recovers with little effort, and arrives at the top of the treacherous cliff. Then as you make it to the top of the cliff, you gaze at Soap's daring will, while he leaps off the very cliff you both worked so hard to scale. You do the same with a running start, grasping your ice picks, as they begin to allow you to drift, Soap valiantly comes to your aid. You reach the bottom of the cold path, dangling one ice pick, and looking down to the gargantuan descent. Then your other ice pick, which is still attached to the freezing path is released from the slide, as Soap grabs you by the arm with immense courage, saving your endangered life.







----------------------------------IN THE INTEREST OF TIME----------------------------







Then, you and Soap roam the windy territory, spotting enemies worth your bullets. You fire your silenced rifle like a natural. You hear malicious yelling in Russian through the foggy land. Your heartbeat detector mounted on the side of your rifle indicates the presence of multiple targets. Then, feeling confident, you run past a truck, knifing a devilish Russian wearing a fear-inducing gas mask. Then you enter a building with a rounded roof, firing at an enemy through glass bottles. Soap has you lay low, as an enemy truck passes by. You walk by an airstrip, seeing the same MiG-29s that nearly blew Soap off the cliff earlier. You reach a fueling station, placing C4 on the indicated area. You're then hurled into an intense firefight that has you take cover and skillfully pick your shots within stunning time. A couple of snowmobiles with two riders on them each jet toward you, as you fire at the riders for your own safety, they fall into the snowy ground to their deaths. The action heats up while two snow-uniform clad Russian soldiers approach you with weapons ready. Your fast reflexes show that they don't stand a chance against your unbeatable force. You run past the smoking, singed debris that resemble airplanes, and use it as a decoy to run to your safety. You run towards a large hill, and safely slide down the soft snow, firing at a few enemies that followed you to the hill. Two more snowmobiles race past you. You watch as Soap manages to strike one of the snowmobile riders with his ice pick to his death, falling off the quickly moving snowmobile into the soft snow. You then take to one of the vacant snowmobiles, and maneuver the relenting terrain, along with its rigorous jumps and slopes. You take out one of the other snowmobile riders moving alongside you with your trusty Glock automatic pistol, held sideways. Finally, you reach the last cliff. You fearlessly take it head on while riding your snowmobile. And you are safe.

The Average Video Gamer's Claim to Fame

Video gaming as a hobby can be described as one of the most thought-provoking activities one can do. By that fact, video gamers represent a rampant desire to express themselves by accessing internet message boards, online clubs, or any other community-based video game website to get their word out there just like any professional video game journalist would. Exactly as I am doing right now; writing to ultimately lead to my anticipated claim to professional fame, thousands of other gamers, equipped with very similar aspirations are doing the same. So the question is; how can I literally rise above these brainless laymen and become known in the gaming industry? Obviously, I am no expert of this, as I have no past experience and have not been recognized in any meaningful way by the gaming industry as a whole, but I do have some theories that may aid in your, and if not my own attempts to verbalize the average gamer's supposed claim to fame.

Step 1. BE DIFFERENT
Many times I have heard the vague suggestion to 'be different', yet have never had any concrete description as to what I should do in order to scrounge my way out of this cesspool of highly enthusiastic, but truly not very skilled writers known as the enthusiastic video gamers of the world. Hopefully I can provide some first-hand insight that will brighten your trail to understanding your task at hand. To be 'different' in terms of writing means to use words in new ways, to not be afraid to take risks, and to go out on a limb, while not using any clichés or too many terms you have heard in the past. In fact, the most amount of learning is done when you take risks and are creative in your endeavors. But you should always keep in mind the professional writers out there that you so greatly admire, and truly observe his or her personal style of writing. And remember that a strong writer stems from an even stronger foundation, so reading is essential.

Step 2. CHOOSING THE RIGHT TIME TO WRITE
Writing is a hobby that needs to be honed constantly. If you choose to write every day regarding topics you are not truly very inrigued about, you may as well find yourself writing very bland, uninteresting pieces. Choosing the right time to write is crucial, as you will astound yourself with your colorful language, descriptive depictions and enthusiasm that simply bleeds through the pages. Unlike the typical mindless gamer racking in thousands of gameplay hours, you will surely rise above their puny stature by gauging your own amount of enthusiasm at a particular moment and capitalizing on that very enthusiasm at its peak. Yet the only problem that obscures your view of your goal that you've worked so hard to achieve is garnering an audience.

Step 3. GARNERING AN AUDIENCE
In all honestly, this is one area that I have miserably failed at. Given my blog's pathetic popularity, this is only evident that this is something that I need to work at. I can talk and write all day how to approach the gaming industry as something to reap profits from by writing, and certainly writing about video games you love is fun, but making a fully realized execution in doing so is a dream by my perspective, never realized. Anyone who has ever visited my website seems to have done so only once, and must have been disappointed by my latest offerings -- my only recommendation to alleviate this is to group up with some buddies of yours, and to take on this uncharted gold rush of fanboy-oriented websites and numerous throw-away reactionary opinions called the internet with full force.

Hopefully, armed with these three suggestions, you will be prepared to take on the gaming industry that has been begging you for years to tap into. Who knows, maybe you're the world's next great writer.

Does every online shooter honestly need an experience system?

In the wake of 2005's Battlefield 2, Infinity Ward capitalized on DICE's experience system with Call of Duty 4, and to great effect. So much so that this sort of carrot-stick incentive-based system has gone rampant. Games that trailed off of Call of Duty 4's explosive success are Lost Planet 2, Gears of War 2, Battlefield: Bad Company and Battlefield Heroes (although it's arguable whether or not Bad Company and Heroes' inclusion of the experience system was a reaction to Call of Duty 4 or it was fully intentional from the start of development of each game), Far Cry 2, Crysis Warhead, Resistance 2, Killzone 2, and Fear 2. Do you ever feel overwhelmed by how much you might have to earn to play at a reasonable level these days, especially if you're playing multiple shooters at once? And do you imagine yourself dividing your time between shooters given the time-consuming nature of the RPG-like experience system that is seemingly duck-taped in most modern online shooters? Personally, I find the ranking systems in some games truly unecessary, but then again, I'm certainly not someone who can plow through all the ranks in a few days, which is something that may color my opinion.

Peggle for iPhone

Upon being shocked by the fact that Peggle was recently released on the App store, I was quick to download it. Initally, I expected the controls to poorly translate to the iPhone's touch interface. But to my surprise, they actually seem to flawlessly mimic the classic gameplay that became so famous on the iPod and PC. The game takes place horizontally on the iPhone's screen, and the legendary Peggle experience is intact. You use your finger to slide your aim, and there's a separate 'Fire' button to the right. Luckily, the game doesn't force you to obscure your aim by placing your finger in front of the ball launcher, but rather allows you to put your finger anywhere on the screen in order to aim. I could see hardcore fans being slightly disappointed by the fact that the 'Fire' button is so far away, relative to the previous iPod and PC versions, where the 'Fire' button was virtually next to your aiming interface. If you have never played Peggle, think of it as Pachinko with a scrolling dish along the bottom that allows skilled players to time their shots in order to get a free ball, along with various power-ups that can vary from guided shots to heaping fireballs. Once again, if you have never played Peggle, I strongly recommend purchasing this game, it's well worth the 5 or so dollars.