Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Loser Love Diaries 26: German Tinder Failure, Part II

Well, after entering my Tinder age as 26 (as per a recommendation from a friend, because he told me when girls see the age 21, they think all the guys would talk about would be cars, sex, etc. and entering my true age would be a disservice to my maturity level), I think the girl with whom I went for a coffee date with is less than happy with me.

She found out that I am in fact 21 because, well, I cannot lie and could not when the subject came up. And yet in this case, not lying in turn makes me look like a lier. Yet the most unfair and most aggravating bit of the whole situation is that I never lie. Not ever, under any circumstance. And yet it's all because while girls may be easy to impress, they're even easier to upset. This untrue first impression of me, then, has served to spoil any chance I may have had with this girl.

You see, I am the world's most pathetic pursuant of any female. So I thought, yes, (in part because I understood as Tinder as a big joke and there was no possibility at all of actually going on a date with a real-live female, let alone her asking me on a date and let alone her actually being pretty) I will gladly and shamelessly take any advantage I possibly can. Making my age 26 fit the bill.

Our text messaging conversation went as follows (roughly, [and translated from German] as I can remember it, because her not responding for dozens of hours at a time pissed me off so much, I deleted it multiple times):

Me: "Hi, it's Michael the crazy American. I hope you enjoyed Sunday :D"

Me (several hours later upon receiving no response, despite her reading it; important to note: via Tinder, she would always respond immediately): "Guess not... XD"

Her: "Hey, sorry I was really busy doing my doctor studies, how are you doing?" (You didn't seem to have any doctor studies when we were talking on Tinder and when you thought I was 26, now did you...?)

Her: "Yes, it was a nice Sunday."

Me: "I'm doing well thanks to the sun finally being out."

Me (question out of the blue several hours later thanks to me no longer giving a fuck, seeing as though she was barely interested in me anymore): "Hey, you seemed quite disappointed to find out I'm not actually 26, correct?"

Her: "Truth be told, it does bother me a little."

Me: "Well if it doesn't bother you too much, do you want to meet again sometime?"

And now, that's as it sits. As of this writing, I sent that message a total of 24 hours ago, and if Whatsapp's indicators are to be believed, she has indeed read the message.

I'm contemplating saying the following things:

"OK, I understand. You want nothing to do with me anymore. Thanks bye."

"You think I'm a liar now, don't you? Well, I'm actually the last person to lie. You can ask any of my friends." (Then again, why would anyone believe anyone who they think is a liar in the first place?)

"Why does age even matter that much to you? You're 23 and I'm 21. So what? I'm going to begin my professional life before you anyway."

I'm not satisfied with any of the answers. I think it's perhaps best to just say to her "Bye," delete her as a contact and be happy with the minimal sense of vitriol I may gain.

I hate this seeming German notion to say nothing when you don't like a guy anymore. Why can't you just fucking tell me, "No, I don't want to see your ugly-ass face anywhere near me ever again."

Why do German girls have to let me down easy? Just tell me what the fuck you are thinking! Let me know what the hell it is I am doing wrong, so that at some point during my adult life, maybe, just maybe, I might find a girl.

German girls, I find also rely too heavily upon first impressions. They never ever allow any second chances -- and every friend of every German girl I've come into contact with seems to have a personal vendetta against me, steering the girls I am actually interested in well clear of me. What did I ever do to do deserve such rotten luck with every single girl I have been remotely interested in?

Let me avoid selling myself short here: I am a very nice guy, I never lie (except when it comes to stupid dating apps), I laugh, I smile (hell, I even got this girl I'm talking about to turn red on multiple occasions, I don't know why I have to stress about stuff like this!) and girls find me attractive. And you know what? I'm such a decent guy, in fact, that I'm not looking for a slantpiece, but really a companion, a best friend with whom it wouldn't be weird to spend most days of the week with, to watch movies with or to talk about deep emotions with. I'm not looking for a girl for the wrong reasons and I know I want a girlfriend.

Perhaps I need to stop looking. If this girl doesn't respond within another 24 hours, I'm deleting her from my life. It's a good thing I took the first step and deleted Tinder already then.

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