Ever since I had my encounter with a German girl on my way to the post office, I have been jaded about girls. And that has been mostly for good.
This skepticism about any potential relationship having the slightest chance of ever taking off has made me more durable for the common occurrence of when they don't. One could argue, however, that being so skeptical can make it so that no potential relationship will in fact have any chance of success.
But in truth, I'm simply so tired of the "Hi, my name is ...," "I am from," all the bullshit in between and simply dealing with bitchy girls who think they are hot shit. You can, in most cases, detect when a girl has a rotten personality by the way she carries herself.
If she pays no attention to anyone or anything surrounding her, whether that means she is trapped behind the backlit screen of her smartphone, rapidly messaging people who are clearly more important than the ones physically standing around her or behind the lenses of designer sunglasses, similarly oblivious to the events happening around her, this is a red flag for a seriously narcissistic girl. And these types are far too easy to spot in Germany, where strangers very nearly never make smalltalk with one another and people are trapped in their bubbles of personal space.
A narcissistic girl is often troublesome because while she may be beautiful, she is keenly aware of this and will manipulate her beauty to get whatever she wants to every end. A narcissistic girl is the sort to tell you how awful her day was without you even asking, the one who gets angry at you for not doing things that you had no idea bothered her, the kind of girl that is, and will forever remain, impossible to please. You can be either her Prince Charming (handsome and romantic), or her royal steed (strong and dependable), but never both. And neither will ever quench her insatiable thirst for her concept of what constitutes a "real man."
Such a girl will always yearn for you to be more romantic, referring to what her girlfriends' husbands have done, or what unattainable [garbage] ideas of "romance" films have put in her head.
Staying single strong.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Germany: Not the best Vacation Destination
If you ever wanted to go to Germany on vacation, realize it may never be a vacation destination because as you walk around in your flip flops and Bermudas, the scary German folk rushing to and from work, with their stern intensity and ubiquitous frowning will remind you Germany is no vacation destination and frankly, may never be. I don't think they get the concept of "relaxing" here.
Loser Love Diaries 15
Love does not deserve my attention.
Love is actually not really worth any man's attention because should he worry about such a matter, then he will surely be depressed -- and as soon as he finds a girl he likes, act desperate.
So for the time being, it is actually best not to concern oneself with such a thing and focus on the things you want to do while you can and while you have your freedom. Because once you pop the question, there's no going back.
Loser Love Diaries 14
I feel a lot of girls are merely carbon copies of one another. Their personalities can be nearly indistinguishable for fear of being too different, outcasted and thus forever subjected to loneliness thanks to how judgmental some girls can be to one another.
And that's unfortunate, because a distinctly different personality from a girl can be at times frowned upon.
What I need in my life is not necessarily a beautiful girl, but one with a unique personality that's not self-conscious.
Loser Love Diaries 13
Set your expectations accordingly
I have a friend who is far too shy to talk to new girls. In a supermarket, for example, he was ashamed to ask a worker there for where the butter was.
How on earth he expects to get a girl puzzles me... He wants a girl who is forward. I've wanted what he wanted for a long time until I broke out of my shell and started talking to girls. And guess what? Such a dream is just that: a dream.
I had one experience with a girl who was the forward one.
You see, as far as I understand it, it's a tricky balancing act for girls. Do they act forward and risk being labeled as "slutty" or promiscuous and in the process, jeopardize their reputation? And as far as I know, all (if not, most) girls want real love in their lives and not just the physical kind, being relegated to glorified slant pieces.
Then on the other hand, are girls to idly sit by, only to wait for "Mr. Right" to come by? What if he doesn't exist, or what if said shy girl is so shy that she misses out on meeting so many potential courtiers...?
Loser Love Diaries 12
Love does not deserve my attention.
Love is actually not really worth any man's attention because should he worry about such a matter, then he will surely be depressed -- and as soon as he finds a girl he likes, act desperate.
So for the time being, it is actually best not to concern oneself with such a thing and focus on the things you want to do while you can and while you have your freedom. Because once you pop the question, there's no going back.
Loser Love Diaries 11: Sappy Love Letter
We have only "known" each other for a little over a month now.
And I can tell already, that unlike any other girl I've met before, you keep conversation exciting, keep me laughing and have a certain charisma to you.
I have never "met" such an unabashedly funny girl as you before.
Nor I have I ever been less guarded when talking to a girl before. I put any self-consciousness I may have aside and stop caring. Which is the best feeling in the world.
I have never felt with a girl before that there was a real two-way flow of conversation as there is with you. Before, I have always had to carry the conversation throughout.
And our conversation doesn't even necessarily have to be structured. I can simply ramble on, talk about nothing or ask you spontaneous questions.
My day is complete after I talk to you.
The greatest shame of all though, is that we have not yet met.
Ramblings
The women who want you the least always seem to be oddly the most desirable.
Na twarzy
Jak
How does Poland have such a different language than Germany, despite it being a neighbor?
To be manly in Polsnf (and thus get a girl), you must be 1) brutish, crude, brusque, impolite, 2) be bald or have short hair and 3) certainly not wear pink shirts.
Warsaw, Poland: the most German Polish city, where most of the people look tired and like they are on the verge of depression, the women no longer look like Russian supermodels and the men dress like hipsters.
Life's too short to have only car friends.
Why I could never live in Poland: the food here is too delicious and cheap that I would become obese, the women are too beautiful and I would be forced to marry multiple of them, the Vodka is too good and my liver would burst and the people here are too nice and I would have too many friends. Yes, sadly I probably belong in gray, heartless and perfect Germany.
Speaking German in Poland yields scornful glares of hatred, while
1. German, scornful glares of hatred
2. English, curious glances
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Loser Love Diaries 10: Internet Relationship? Not.
There was a Ukrainian girl. One who shall remain nameless. She was quite sweet, that is, as far as I could tell.
I have actually never met said girl.
To everything into context, I studied in Düsseldorf, Germany in June of 2012. And to easily keep in touch with all the friends I met there (and for them to do so as well), I set up a Facebook group titled "IIK Düsseldorf Freunde." IIK, being, the International Institute of Communication and "Freunde," meaning, "friends."
There, this one girl joined the group, added me as friends via Facebook and after liking a handful of my contributions, started private messaging me.
She was nice and I could tell starting early on, on the flirty side. Unlike most American girls (and typical for European girls), she was online less than regularly, and thus, we chatted less than regularly as well.
But we chatted and chatted. About what, I don't remember and it's not even important, frankly.
Most of the time, she would be the one to initiate the conversation. That's quite rare. And, most of all, that makes me rather unattracted to a girl. It was eerily too easy.
After doing some research and discovering the low male-to-female ratio in Ukraine and since I never met this girl (and at them time doubted she was for one real and two, that I was ever going to meet her) I felt compelled to outright ask her, "Are there few men in the Ukraine?" She at first asked, seemingly shocked, "Why do you ask?"
I then told her about the brief research I "conducted," to which she responded that Ukrainian men don't care for their women and that Ukrainian women simply want a good understanding and attention from their partners.
The image I now have of Eastern European men (in part thanks to already visiting Poland), is one that is excessively gruff, deliberately crude in an attempt to be as absolutely masculine as possible (from unshaven, disheveled, to downright ugly), wearing sports clothing, complete only with a supermodel hanging over you at all times.
What is important, however, is that we skyped twice, wherein I found out that she is in fact a real human being, and (get this!) a human female who was spending her real-life time to talk to me!
We had actually planned to meet in Ukraine early in 2014 if memory serves (ironically before the political strife), but if I remember correctly, I didn't want to go due to the cold weather Eastern Europe is known for especially in the middle of wintertime.
Rather, I proposed that after she gets in Dresden, Germany (where she was planning to study), we would meet there.
Well, as far as I can tell from the pictures she's been posting (and seemingly waiting for me to hit the like button on them), she's there. After two attempts to ask her how things are going, I've received no response.
Oh well, hopefully she's found someone else. If so, I'm genuinely happy for her. Because I'm a genuinely nice person.
At least that way, telling our grandchildren how we met wouldn't be so awkward.
I have actually never met said girl.
To everything into context, I studied in Düsseldorf, Germany in June of 2012. And to easily keep in touch with all the friends I met there (and for them to do so as well), I set up a Facebook group titled "IIK Düsseldorf Freunde." IIK, being, the International Institute of Communication and "Freunde," meaning, "friends."
There, this one girl joined the group, added me as friends via Facebook and after liking a handful of my contributions, started private messaging me.
She was nice and I could tell starting early on, on the flirty side. Unlike most American girls (and typical for European girls), she was online less than regularly, and thus, we chatted less than regularly as well.
But we chatted and chatted. About what, I don't remember and it's not even important, frankly.
Most of the time, she would be the one to initiate the conversation. That's quite rare. And, most of all, that makes me rather unattracted to a girl. It was eerily too easy.
After doing some research and discovering the low male-to-female ratio in Ukraine and since I never met this girl (and at them time doubted she was for one real and two, that I was ever going to meet her) I felt compelled to outright ask her, "Are there few men in the Ukraine?" She at first asked, seemingly shocked, "Why do you ask?"
I then told her about the brief research I "conducted," to which she responded that Ukrainian men don't care for their women and that Ukrainian women simply want a good understanding and attention from their partners.
The image I now have of Eastern European men (in part thanks to already visiting Poland), is one that is excessively gruff, deliberately crude in an attempt to be as absolutely masculine as possible (from unshaven, disheveled, to downright ugly), wearing sports clothing, complete only with a supermodel hanging over you at all times.
What is important, however, is that we skyped twice, wherein I found out that she is in fact a real human being, and (get this!) a human female who was spending her real-life time to talk to me!
We had actually planned to meet in Ukraine early in 2014 if memory serves (ironically before the political strife), but if I remember correctly, I didn't want to go due to the cold weather Eastern Europe is known for especially in the middle of wintertime.
Rather, I proposed that after she gets in Dresden, Germany (where she was planning to study), we would meet there.
Well, as far as I can tell from the pictures she's been posting (and seemingly waiting for me to hit the like button on them), she's there. After two attempts to ask her how things are going, I've received no response.
Oh well, hopefully she's found someone else. If so, I'm genuinely happy for her. Because I'm a genuinely nice person.
At least that way, telling our grandchildren how we met wouldn't be so awkward.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Loser Love Diaries 9: Blue Valentine (2010)
I recently watched Blue Valentine (2010) starring Ryan Gosling (Dean) and Michelle Williams (Cindy) and the film, thanks to its real-to-life portrayal of a couple that starts out all merry and ends all sour during a grueling marital life got me thinking...
IMDB.com user Deproduction outlines Gosling's character, Dean:
"He was so charming in his interactions with his daughter, and was also loving towards his wife enduring more rejection from her than most could, trying to breathe love back into the relationship. Even his outbursts seemed attempts to give her what she wanted.
So many reviews talk about this being a story of falling in and out of love. My response is surely subjective, but I don't feel Cindy ever loved Dean. She was desperate, pregnant and facing life as a young parent, and Dean was there to hold her.
Dean, on the other hand, was a good person, eager to love, and all-too-willing to devote his life to Cindy and daughter Frankie (a sparse, but strong, performance by Faith Wladyka), and in the end, he's left with a broken heart and a broken home. I'd love to feel he's better-off without Cindy, if only it weren't so heartbreakingly clear that he loves her and her daughter immensely."
This is very interesting. I, too, am an all-too-willing lover. I am extremely patient, considerate and forgiving. Some have told me too much so. Perhaps Dean can set an example by which I can strive to avoid, namely being overly willing to dole out my love to the wrong person.
There are a lot of crazy people out there. But, there are more crazy women out there. Well, not really. But most women (let's be honest for a moment here), are crazy.
It's not that I'm stupid that I want to give my love to someone, rather, I feel I'm simply a passionate person and I have a lot of love to give.
I feel this has happened to me to lesser degrees in the past. When I say "lesser degrees," I mean that while I've never had a relationship, in cases where I've told girls I liked them and they were unable or unwilling to return such affection. There was even a girl (after I told her I liked her) who said that I am "too good" for her. Who knows? Maybe it's actually a blessing in disguise that she said that, given the chance I could have shared Dean's fate.
Perhaps it is in female-kind's nature to be self-centered? Or young girls are brought up in such a way that teaches them to be slightly narcissistic? Or is it even that modern girls fear they will appear clingy if they show any degree of affection? Or am I the clingy one? At least I seek to be objective enough of a writer to have you, the reader, even question my own credibility. You never know with what sort of bias the very lens you are looking through may be fogged with. Question everything.
I leave you with this quote from Ryan Gosling in the film Blue Valentine:
"I feel like men are more romantic than women. When we get married we marry, like, one girl, 'cause we're resistant the whole way until we meet one girl and we think I'd be an idiot if I didn't marry this girl she's so great. But it seems like girls get to a place where they just kinda pick the best option... 'Oh he's got a good job.' I mean they spend their whole life looking for Prince Charming and then they marry the guy who's got a good job and is gonna stick around."
Take that for what it's worth.
IMDB.com user Deproduction outlines Gosling's character, Dean:
"He was so charming in his interactions with his daughter, and was also loving towards his wife enduring more rejection from her than most could, trying to breathe love back into the relationship. Even his outbursts seemed attempts to give her what she wanted.
So many reviews talk about this being a story of falling in and out of love. My response is surely subjective, but I don't feel Cindy ever loved Dean. She was desperate, pregnant and facing life as a young parent, and Dean was there to hold her.
Dean, on the other hand, was a good person, eager to love, and all-too-willing to devote his life to Cindy and daughter Frankie (a sparse, but strong, performance by Faith Wladyka), and in the end, he's left with a broken heart and a broken home. I'd love to feel he's better-off without Cindy, if only it weren't so heartbreakingly clear that he loves her and her daughter immensely."
This is very interesting. I, too, am an all-too-willing lover. I am extremely patient, considerate and forgiving. Some have told me too much so. Perhaps Dean can set an example by which I can strive to avoid, namely being overly willing to dole out my love to the wrong person.
There are a lot of crazy people out there. But, there are more crazy women out there. Well, not really. But most women (let's be honest for a moment here), are crazy.
It's not that I'm stupid that I want to give my love to someone, rather, I feel I'm simply a passionate person and I have a lot of love to give.
I feel this has happened to me to lesser degrees in the past. When I say "lesser degrees," I mean that while I've never had a relationship, in cases where I've told girls I liked them and they were unable or unwilling to return such affection. There was even a girl (after I told her I liked her) who said that I am "too good" for her. Who knows? Maybe it's actually a blessing in disguise that she said that, given the chance I could have shared Dean's fate.
Perhaps it is in female-kind's nature to be self-centered? Or young girls are brought up in such a way that teaches them to be slightly narcissistic? Or is it even that modern girls fear they will appear clingy if they show any degree of affection? Or am I the clingy one? At least I seek to be objective enough of a writer to have you, the reader, even question my own credibility. You never know with what sort of bias the very lens you are looking through may be fogged with. Question everything.
I leave you with this quote from Ryan Gosling in the film Blue Valentine:
"I feel like men are more romantic than women. When we get married we marry, like, one girl, 'cause we're resistant the whole way until we meet one girl and we think I'd be an idiot if I didn't marry this girl she's so great. But it seems like girls get to a place where they just kinda pick the best option... 'Oh he's got a good job.' I mean they spend their whole life looking for Prince Charming and then they marry the guy who's got a good job and is gonna stick around."
Take that for what it's worth.
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