Saturday, March 29, 2014

Loser Love Diaries 9: Blue Valentine (2010)

I recently watched Blue Valentine (2010) starring Ryan Gosling (Dean) and Michelle Williams (Cindy) and the film, thanks to its real-to-life portrayal of a couple that starts out all merry and ends all sour during a grueling marital life got me thinking... user Deproduction outlines Gosling's character, Dean:

"He was so charming in his interactions with his daughter, and was also loving towards his wife enduring more rejection from her than most could, trying to breathe love back into the relationship. Even his outbursts seemed attempts to give her what she wanted.

So many reviews talk about this being a story of falling in and out of love. My response is surely subjective, but I don't feel Cindy ever loved Dean. She was desperate, pregnant and facing life as a young parent, and Dean was there to hold her.

Dean, on the other hand, was a good person, eager to love, and all-too-willing to devote his life to Cindy and daughter Frankie (a sparse, but strong, performance by Faith Wladyka), and in the end, he's left with a broken heart and a broken home. I'd love to feel he's better-off without Cindy, if only it weren't so heartbreakingly clear that he loves her and her daughter immensely."

This is very interesting. I, too, am an all-too-willing lover. I am extremely patient, considerate and forgiving. Some have told me too much so. Perhaps Dean can set an example by which I can strive to avoid, namely being overly willing to dole out my love to the wrong person.

There are a lot of crazy people out there. But, there are more crazy women out there. Well, not really. But most women (let's be honest for a moment here), are crazy.

It's not that I'm stupid that I want to give my love to someone, rather, I feel I'm simply a passionate person and I have a lot of love to give.

I feel this has happened to me to lesser degrees in the past. When I say "lesser degrees," I mean that while I've never had a relationship, in cases where I've told girls I liked them and they were unable or unwilling to return such affection. There was even a girl (after I told her I liked her) who said that I am "too good" for her. Who knows? Maybe it's actually a blessing in disguise that she said that, given the chance I could have shared Dean's fate. 

Perhaps it is in female-kind's nature to be self-centered? Or young girls are brought up in such a way that teaches them to be slightly narcissistic? Or is it even that modern girls fear they will appear clingy if they show any degree of affection? Or am I the clingy one? At least I seek to be objective enough of a writer to have you, the reader, even question my own credibility. You never know with what sort of bias the very lens you are looking through may be fogged with. Question everything.

I leave you with this quote from Ryan Gosling in the film Blue Valentine:

"I feel like men are more romantic than women. When we get married we marry, like, one girl, 'cause we're resistant the whole way until we meet one girl and we think I'd be an idiot if I didn't marry this girl she's so great. But it seems like girls get to a place where they just kinda pick the best option... 'Oh he's got a good job.' I mean they spend their whole life looking for Prince Charming and then they marry the guy who's got a good job and is gonna stick around."

Take that for what it's worth.

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