Sunday, September 29, 2013


I may ignore it, and I may act as if it doesn't exist, but it does
It is a profound feeling of emptiness, and deep desolation,
I may console that emptiness with activities such as writing or reading, but it doesn't go away,
I may have a brief conversation, or a minor rapport with a stranger, but other than that and a very few friend visits throughout the year is all I'll see,
I've permanently gotten myself in a hole where I become conditioned to a lonely lifestyle, and whenever I may try to adapt or to join into a conversation, people ignore me outright, a social stigma, or a pushing away of what's different, what a hole,
All my life, I've been expecting my friends that I rarely visited to be unwilling or strictly considering me coming over to be a waste of time, and to be forming a preference to spend more time alone,
Oh dear, was I wrong,
Social interactions through the Internet are nothing more.
I could live off of the feeling of true social interaction,
It's exhiletating anticipating how people will prceive what you say or do, and when they look at you -- it's a sense that's indescribable --maybe gratifying,
Only a limited amount of growth can be done alone
But alas! A glimmer of hope -- smiling in the mirror, and hoping for good times yet to come makes a brilliant remedy


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