There's not a particular girl I have my eye on at the moment, but a couple. I don't lust or imagine myself with one or another especially, but rather, madly in love with the idea of having a girlfriend at all.
I'm sad to report I've never had a proper girlfriend, nor a girlfriend of any sort at all before. I have had, however, a friend who was a girl who asked me regularly to hang out with her while she still had a boyfriend. But it seems that relationship, whatever it was, is now long gone.
The ability to share every detail of my life and experiences with a single member of the opposite sex, while being able to continue to share new and better experiences with said person sounds positively fantastic. It's like a best friend who can love you in ways not possible before. Or so my [perhaps delusional] fantasy leads me to believe.
Truth be told, I've been enveloping myself in loads of female-intended media (and honestly, rather enjoying it) in order to hopefully better understand what women seek in men. I've found Woody Allen films remarkably enjoyable.
And likely because this media is now surrounding my life, my eyes, my ears and my mind, there's little else I can think of. I call this condition "lovesick" because it closely resembles a mental condition.
Of course, I have been in love many times before, but I've never executed on those desires. And I have even told a girl I liked her before, but that ended, let's just say not well.
Now though, whenever I imagine about doing sports, activities, eating at restaurants, or what have you, I see almost no point with doing them with either someone of my same sex or someone with whom I have no intimate interest in. It's as if I'm saving them (and also myself) for that special someone.
Perhaps that special someone is right in front of me, is one of the few girls I'm talking to at the moment, or have not, or will never meet her. How can I possibly know?